FAQ - India

I loved this forwarded mail.. I had a good laugh when I was so tensed up with my work here. So I wanted to share the joy and laughter with you... Go on and read the whole thing.

 India holds a certain sense of mystery for the world outside its borders. Read on to find how curious foreigners are about India and its ways or rather read on to find out how dumb and ignorant they are about our beautiful country. This was taken from a tourism blog where people could post queries if they were planning on making a trip to India.

The answers are the actual responses by the website officials, who demonstrate tolerance and excellent sense of humor.

Q : Does it ever get windy in India? I have never seen it rain on TV, how do the plants grow? (UK).
A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die.

Q : Will I be able to see elephants in the street? (USA)
A: Depends how much you've been drinking.

Q: I want to walk from Delhi to Goa - can I follow the railroad tracks? (Sweden)
A: Sure, it's only three thousand kms, take lots of water.

Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in India? (Sweden)
A: So it's true what they say about Swedes.

Q: Are there any ATMs India? Can you send me a list of them in Delhi, Chennai, Calcutta and Bangalore?(UK)
A: What did your last slave die of?

Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in India? (USA)
A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe. In-di-a is that big triangle in the middle of the Pacific & Indian Ocean which does not.. oh forget it. ...... Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Goa. Come naked. 

Q: Which direction is North in India? (USA)
A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions.

Q: Can I bring cutlery into India? (UK)
A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.

Q: Can you send me the Indiana Pacers matches’ schedule? (France)
A: Indiana is a state in the Unites States of...oh forget it. Sure, the Indiana Pacers matches are played every Tues day night in Goa , straight after the hippo races. Come naked.

Q: Can I wear high heels in India? (UK)
A: You're a British politician, right?

Q: Are there supermarkets in Bangalore, and is milk available all year round? (Germany)
A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of vegan hunter/gatherers. Milk is illegal.

Q : Please send a list of all doctors in India who can dispense rattlesnake serum. (USA)
A: Rattlesnakes live in A-meri-ca which is where YOU come from. All Indian snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and make good pets.

Q: Do you have perfume in India? (France)
A: No, WE don't stink in India.

Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you tell me where I can sell it in India? (USA)
A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.

Q: Do you celebrate Christmas in India? (France)
A: Only at Christmas.

Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA)
A: Yes, but you will have to learn it first

Q: Can I see Taj Mahal anytime? (Italy)
A: As long as you are not blind, you can see it anytime day and night.

Q: Do you have Toilet paper? (USA)
A: No, we use sand paper. (We have different grades)

The Indian Multinational

Videocon

Remember the Big screen TV which we had. I remember watching all my pink panther movies on Videocon.. Now they have come back with a bang.. The new Videocon- Indian Multinational.
Probably the first Indian Company to all manufacture Mobile phones...I love it





Change is happiness.

The Indian Dream

This post has been published by me as a part of the Blog-a-Ton 3; the third edition of the online marathon of Bloggers; where we decide and we write. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton.

 I was keeping this window open for more than 2 hours and wondering what to write and how to approach this topic. Quite confused on how to go about with it. Well, I hope this approach is what I'm here to convey and you would like it too!!

The Indian dream
This topic can be dealt with various approaches but for me, I think we should take into account the time factor also. Like for example we would want to see this "type" of India by 2020 or 2025 or something like that.
So I would like to get with my argument what I would want to see in my India by  2050.
I would like to convey my thoughts through a small story.

The classic middle class in 2050(India).
 "Dad, today, in class my teacher was telling about how India was in the year 2009 and I couldn't believe when she said we had so many poor people. I've never heard of the word " POVERTY" until today." , squealed the 15 year old son.

Dad replies, " Son, there was a time when India was so populated, we barely had space to stand, but that population has been the backbone of our nations growth to this level. Yes, we had something called as "POVERTY". " 

The son gasped. " So were we also poor?"

" Oh yes we were... I remember going to school in an auto which doesn't exist in India anymore, but you can see them in America. Why don't you bring my looptop(our laptop), so that I can gooooooogle(now 10 million dollar company ) it for you."

" Dad, haven't I told you not to use gooooooogle, its not techie enough like our infy search(Infosys now 100 billion dollar company who outsources all their work to the European countries because they are more cost effective than the Indian)"

" Son, you know I've got used to goooooogle so please don't force me to use anything else."

" But dad, we are Indians, how can we use another countries search engine which is also so boring, btw. Come on dad, even Shasha uses Infy and she is just 2 years old."

 "Lets talk about this later. Now let me get to the point about poverty. We also had something called as Corruption.Don't be surprise to know all this really existed in India.(looking at his son's face ) They were totally eradicated by the new Prime minister Mr. Rahul Gandhi, in the year 2020."

"Oh ya!! Rahul Gandhi, he's the man. Remember that email I got from him thanking me for the idea on saving  America from the deeeeep depression. I also heard that he talked to Vimala last thursday over the t-chat on the togglenet. ( Innovative Idea from Tech Mahindra Satyam which later became the top notch IT solution company in the world.)"

"We never had even the chance of meeting our Prime Ministers those days. This concept of making Politics into an friendly manner was the best thing that happened after the fall of the then so-called-best economy USA"

"But dad, lets compare the things which we have now in 2050 and then in 2009, when you were in your teens. I think this will be quite interesting for my upcoming thesis work for school."

"I was very naughty as a teen, son and the day I met your mother in the blue T-shirt was the day I realised she was everything."

" T- Shirt?? What was that clothing?? I prefer to wear my dhoti to college and cannot wait to get out of my uniform. BTW, I would want to definitely meet my wife in a Saree  rather than anything else.( This is in 2050, don't ask me why??)

" We had many terrorist attack those days and finally it  took us some years to figure out that we've had enough of terrorism and it was talked over to the Pakistan(now a friendly neighbouring country) which was sorted out through non-violence."

"Ah, so thats why we don't buy guns anymore and they don't make any new nuclear weapons!!"

"Yes, Well India played the major part in that. You see,son, those days we would dream to have an India like today but we always thought it would definitely be only a dream but people like me who were young those days made sure that the next gen would not become what we were those days. So hats off to all those youth who dreamed to have the better India. BTW, We called it " The Indian Dream!! And Son, you are living it."

 "Thanks dad, for those great insight on India. Don't worry no more because we are here to take your position of keeping India where it is today.And we shall always treasure its glory"

I hope I conveyed what I was wanting to tell. I tried to do something different. In my opinion, " The Indian Dream" doesn't always have to be a dream but it can also happen in reality if people like us work towards it. I know that we are heading towards it and we will make it in the near future. Until then, Lets join and march towards the better India which we are all dying to see.. All the best to everyone. Jai Hind!!! 


Image courtesy: Google

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Happy Independence day-2009

It is the 62th independence day for India. We have reached many heights and achievements which are all we always talk about. But still we haven't reached the top even though we are under a steady growth towards it. I studied about the 8 millennium goals which are to be achieved by all the nations so that we have a peaceful world. Thats what we, Indian have to aim for and no war or enmity with any other country. Peace and Happiness all over can only achieved only if we initiate at our individual level. My friend Sriram always says," I hate violence against women and children." I thought that small thing which he follows can make a big difference to everybody if followed. It made me think about it and talk about it. That is a big difference. Simple things like this can build more peaceful country.

India is my pride and I'm proud to be an Indian. Jai Hind

New 10 rupees coin from RBI, India

heeeyyyyyyy!!! CSK Wins

The first win for Csk against Royal challengers Bangalore.. In your face Vijay Mallya...

Csk wins with the smashing 92 runs... Right now Chennai Super Kings is in the first place.. Don't forget to watch the highlights in Setmax

Yippeeeeeeee.... IPL Season 2

Yes!!! The wait is over. At last, people decided where to start IPL( SA or India). They have started it in South Africa. Eventhough, hockey is the national game of India(many don't know it is... I dint know until i was 10 years old...LOL), we love cricket. India is crazy about two things : Cricket and Movies... Well, IPL is something which has both the things together.. Who would miss it??? I wouldn't miss it for the world. Here I have my dad who was district player in cricket, whose predictions about the score are always the correct ones. How will I not be interested in cricket..?? Here is the Schedule for IPL 2:

New IPL Schedule 2009 South Africa

Date	Match	Venue	Time
April 18	Mumbai vs Chennai	Cape Town	4 PM
April 18	Rajasthan vs Bangalore	Cape Town	8 PM
April 19	Delhi vs Punjab	Cape Town	4 PM
April 19	Kolkata vs Hyderabad	Cape Town	8 PM
April 20	Bangalore vs Chennai	Port Elizabeth	8 PM
April 21	Kolkata vs Punjab	Durban	4 PM
April 21	Rajasthan vs Mumbai	Durban	8 PM
April 22	Banglore vs Hyderabad	Cape Town	8 PM
April 23	Delhi vs Chennai	Durban	4 PM
April 23	Kolkata vs Rajasthan	Cape Town	8 PM
April 24	Punjab vs Banglore	Durban	8 PM
April 25	Hyderabad vs Mumbai	Durban	4 PM
April 25	Kolkata vs Chennai	Cape Town	8 PM
April 26	Banglore vs Delhi	Port Elizabeth	4 PM
April 26	Rajasthan vs Punjab	Cape Town	8 PM
April 27	Chennai vs Hyderabad	Durban	4 PM
April 27	Kolkata vs Mumbai	Port Elizabeth	8 PM
April 28	Delhi vs Rajasthan	Pretoria	8 PM
April 29	Kolkata vs Banglore	Durban	4 PM
April 29	Mumbai vs Punjab	Durban	8 PM
April 30	Delhi vs Hyderabad	Pretoria	4 PM
April 30	Rajasthan vs Chennai	Pretoria	8 PM
May 1	Mumbai vs Kolkata	East London	4 PM
May 1	Banglore vs Punjab	Durban	8 PM
May 2	Rajasthan vs Hyderabad	Port Elizabeth	4 PM
May 2	Chennai vs Delhi	Johannesburg	8 PM
May 3	Punjab vs Kolkata	Port Elizabeth	4 PM
May 3	Mumbai vs Banglore	Johannesburg	8 PM
May 4	Hyderabad vs Chennai	East London	8 PM
May 5	Punjab vs Rajasthan	Durban	4 PM
May 5	Delhi vs Kolkata	Durban	8 PM
May 6	Mumbai vs Hyderabad	Pretoria	8 PM
May 7	Banglore vs Rajasthan	Pretoria	4 PM
May 7	Punjab vs Chennai	Pretoria	8 PM
May 8	Delhi vs Mumbai	East London	8 PM
May 9	Hyderabad vs Punjab	Kimberley	4 PM
May 9	Chennai vs Rajasthan	Kimberley	8 PM
May 10	Banglore vs Mumbai	Port Elizabeth	4 PM
May 10	Kolkata vs Delhi	Port Elizabeth	8 PM
May 11	Hyderabad vs Rajasthan	Kimberley	8 PM
May 12	Banglore vs Kolkata	Pretoria	4 PM
May 12	Punjab vs Mumbai	Pretoria	8 PM
May 13	Hyderabad vs Delhi	Durban	8 PM
May 14	Chennai vs Banglore	Durban	4 PM
May 14	Mumbai vs Rajasthan	Durban	8 PM
May 15	Punjab vs Delhi	Bloemfontein	8 PM
May 16	Chennai vs Mumbai	Port Elizabeth	4 PM
May 16	Hyderabad vs Kolkata	Johannesburg	8 PM
May 17	Punjab vs Hyderabad	Johannesburg	4 PM
May 17	Rajasthan vs Delhi	Bloemfontein	8 PM
May 18	Chennai vs Kolkata	Pretoria	8 PM
May 19	Delhi vs Banglore	Johannesburg	8 PM
May 20	Rajasthan vs Kolkata	Durban	4 PM
May 20	Chennai vs Punjab	Durban	8 PM
May 21	Mumbai vs Delhi	Pretoria	4 PM
May 21	Hyderabad vs Banglore	Pretoria	8 PM
May 22	Semi Final 1	Pretoria	4 PM
May 23	Semi Final 2	Johannesburg	4 PM
May 24	FINAL	Johannesburg	8 PM

IPL is itself a big corporate game. Yes, Its official gamble of the corporates to make big money. But who cares??? Its fun too... Lets enjoy the corporate cricket, IPL Season 2

PS: I support Chennai super Kings(of course)... Go Dhoni... Go Flint Off... Go Hayden... Go Raina..
Yippee... Go CSK... You are the best... lol... thats my new cheer for CSK