Loniless is killing me ... :(

"To love and to be loved the basic necessity of every living creature... Why would I be different in it??"

Letting me go

Dad and Mama, I love you, I really do,
I can’t think of my world without you!

No more kiss good-night,
No more dad to hold me tight.
No more hugs to calm my fears,
No more hands to wipe my tears!
No more tucking in at night.

But I know I will see you once again
And then you will hold me tight,
When we are together again.

l want to be selfish and share
But what I want just isn’t fair.
Dad, I am living of dull life
Without you here by my side,

Mama, as long as I live
Not a moment will go by
When I don’t wish you were with me.

Daddy I love you, I really do,
Mama I love you, I really do,
Daddy I know you have to leave me
But I told you I don't want to go,
Why did you let me be alone,
Let me go.

I show no fear in my eyes and face
But I am scared without you besides me,

I don't want to cry when I'm talking to you,
But I cry when I'm alone.
Dad and Mama,

Just remember I will always love you.

If I were a baby again

This post has been published by me as a part of the Blog-a-Ton 4; the fourth edition of the online marathon of Bloggers; where we decide and we write. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton.

I was completely out of ideas when it comes to thinking about this topic. I mean what can be done. So then I decided and asked my mom. She said, “ how will remember what you did as a baby?” Then I said, “ Chumma, think amma, Try to visualize what you would to do as a baby" Then it struck me, why not ask various people about what they would do if they were a baby again. So here goes my post on what the people around me would do if they were a baby again:

My mom, “ I would want to be with my grandpa, whom i loved so much but only lived for a short time after I was born. So I miss him and his memories. I want to live with him again.”

My dad, “ hmmmmmm, Raji don’t you have exams tomorrow ? Why aren’t you studying? Don’t disturb me.( after I insisted) Well, I would want to cuddle my mother and cry to her to get the attention which I miss so much now.”( my grandmother passed away recently)

My perverted friend, Arun, “ Dai machan, you know what, I would drink milk from all the women. ( I gave him a nicely for that kinda answer)

My Sweet Sister, “ I really don’t know raji. Amma, what did I do as a baby? “ My mom starts off with all the baby talks she did while my sister was a baby. So then later after an hour, She said, “ You know what I would want to do if I become a baby again, I would want to do exactly the same stuff I did but this time I want it all to be video taped so that I could see it all the time in the future.

My dreamy friend, Vinoth, “Raji, unaku vera vellayae illa ya?( Don’t you have any other work?) but if I were a baby again, I would like to learn ABC and 123 as soon as possible and become a doctor at the age of 10.”( ya rite.. he really wanted to be one. but I never thought he could want to do this at that young age.)

My new friend, Jyo,” Raji, i would want to walk with you hand in hand at that young age, so that we would be friends forever.” (She touched my heart, Thanks Jyo)

Him,” Raji, i want to be born to you. I want to live as your son so that I would receive all that love which I get now as a FRIEND, as your son. I’m sure to get more then..” :(

My kutti cousin Pooja(5 yrs old), “ Akka, How do we get babies?” I was puzzled. I said, “ Ask your mother.” She ran away, kept pestering her for an answer. Then she came back to me and said, “ I don’t want to be a baby again. I want to grow up like you and have a laptop!!” ( what can i say? I’m a borne influencer!!!)

Last but not that least, Me, “ I wouldn’t want to do anything I do as a adult. I would do everything that a baby would do : Smile, cry, eat and sleep and also smile while I’m sleeping. I’ve always wondered why these babies smile while they are sleeping!!! My mom says that they talk to GOD while they are at sleep. See now, that's what I would want to do. Talk to the Almighty ask him to play with me.

PS: This is a simple post. It might not be funny or romantic or whatever you want to call it, but I felt that this post is full of emotions because few people were almost in tears when they told me what I’ve written like my dad, vinoth and Jyo. It might be nothing for us but it means something to all of them. I hope you like it…
Image courtesy: Google

The fellow Blog-a-Tonics who took part in this Blog-a-Ton and links to their respective posts can be checked here. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton.

PPS: BTW, This is my 250th post… Yipee!!! :) I dedicate it to my parents and blogger friends.. Love you all

Talking about divorce…

 

The hottest topic of the day being love and love marriages. I was quite curious to find out how many people in my class are really into love and love marriages since we were discussing about it. As usual the guys were all joking about it by saying that they would get married to a girl and then divorce her within in the next three months and then get going with another girl. Then this thing struck me, let me check about the divorce rates in India.Here is something I felt about it.

Marriages in different parts of the world are done differently.In olden days, tribal men kidnap girls from other tribes to marry them. In the western world, as we know it, they have the right to “choose” the person they prefer on the basis of love. In India, a common practices was arranged marriage. It is said that the divorce rate have a direct impact on the level of choosing their own spouse.i.e. Love marriages. And according the research, it is happened only in the recent times.

If you see the picture below, you will find that India, compared to all the other countries has the lowest divorce rate but is increasing certainly at a very high speed during the past decade.

Even though India still enjoys a low divorce rate, the rapid increase in the number of divorce petitions being filed in Indian courts is certainly a matter of concern. The Indian divorce rate is although the lowest in compared to the rest of the countries of the world, but the present marital scenario in India is likely under a threat. The very will to keep on with the sacred union even under numerous marital disputes and disparities has mellowed with time and transformation of ideologies.

And if you trace out the reasons for these divorces, you will find that the blame has been placed on the women empowerment, the literacy rate and the financial independency.

• Lets look at the reasons for the increasing rate of divorces in India:
• 1. Earlier when the women divorced she was faced with social criticisms. They believed that the parents would not accept them and think of them as a burden. But times are changing now. The parents feel and understood the fact that it is not the end of the daughter’s life if she was divorced.
• 2. Due to factors such as Globalization and IT boom, the social life has become faster. The couples aren’t spending enough times with each other and also in this fast paced world nobody is bothered about social ill- effects or rather not effect the glare of the society.
• 3. With the advent of women education, they are not anymore depend on the men for their financial needs. Therefore, she doesn’t have to anymore stand the abuse and harass made by the men. She can get out of it and get on with her life on her own or as well as the kids, if any.

• But are these the only reason why we are moving into the different
• pace, and don’t you think that the above mentioned reasons are fair
• enough and logical for the betterment of the better half, WOMEN.
• PS: I am not being bias here. I still believe that there are some real men who take care of their wives as if they were Queen and Hats off to you all.. This post is dedicated to my dad because he belongs to that category.

Birthday Bashes... During exams Times AAARGH!!!

My Sweet and naughtiest cousin POOJA celebrated her 5th birthday yesterday(29/07/09) which, of course I missed due to exams. I miss that sweetie pie. I called up in the morning before going to exams and wished her. Then made sure Murugesh wished her after exams which she asked for. Don't ask me who Murugesh is: He is my classmate from IIPM who is Pooja's pet.

Anyways.. So today, I have two of my classmates celebrating birthdays. That would be Nishanth and Pradap. Both of them are personally good friends of mine, but since its exams we are unable to celebrate their birthday.

Then last but never the least, Saddam,(now only close friend who cares a lot about me), is celebrating his birthday on the Sunday(2.8.09). I want to celebrate his birthday too.. Since its the final year for all of us and we would be leaving in another 6 months of college, I feel so sad about us not being together even on our special days.. Anyways I hope that atleast we could re-unite in celebrating each other's birthday..

PS: My dad turns 50 this month... Half Century... Yippee....And I wish all these people Happy Birthday and Wishing you happiness all the way.. Have fun. Take care..

Dad, you've been there!!

Dad, you've been there
When I cried half the night.
You've been there for me
when others didn't treat me right.

Dad, you've been there
and made me laugh.
You taught me to always
choose the right path.

Dad, you've been there
and believed I could do anything,
taught me how to never give up
and told me never say never.

Dad, you've been there for me
through school and all.
You picked me up
when I was about to fall

My love for you will never end
I'm happy to say, "You're like a friend."

I love you, daddy
no matter what I say.
I'll always love you
each and every day.

A special note to my dad for always being there for me and the best friend, I've ever had. I know I keep writing about my dad but that much he means to me and no one else does. I love him more than I love myself. Its just a special thanks to that special dad in my life!!!

Father of the bride

I've watched the movie, Father of the bride atleast a thousand times and still want to watch it again. I see so much of emotions and feelings in the movie. I am not very sensitive but after all I'm human and I am emotional at some point of my life. Well, this is one of the moment when I cried. I just cannot accept the fact that the girl has to leave home just because she is married to someone. I can never even think about leaving my dad. I let go off my offer to study abroad when I had the opportunity just because I wont be able to see my dad for another two years and probably don't want to get out of Chennai for not more than 10 days. I cannot survive without seeing or talking to him atleast once a day. Whenever class is boring guess what do I do? I call up my dad to say, " class is boring pa. I should have never taken up MBA." All he does is smile. Well, that my boost. Appa has been my confidence all the time. He never gives up on me because he knows that I'm capable of everything. I would give up the world just to be with him. He doesn't talk much unlike me(I'm like my mom) but whenever he talks, it always makes sense.

Coming back to the subject about not leaving my dad even after my marriage. I would never want that to happen. Or if i had to, then I wouldn't live in any far away land except chennai. I would settle down here with my family. I know this is selfish but I just don't care. I mean its unfair. Movies like abhiyum naanum and father of the bride affect me and my feelings too. So would it to do all the girls who are very close to their fathers. Fathers rule and I would like to dedicate this to my dad and all the other dads who love their kids

Losing someone shouldn't stop life

Today, my dad lost his best friend. They have been buddies from school and they were really close to each other. They were married almost at the same time so we also got together as a family always. Late Babu uncle, was a joker and he always made us laugh . He had three children who were almost same ages as the three of us. Two girls and a small son. The look on my dad's face made me think about writing this post. I dedicate it to all the people who have lost all their near and dear ones.

Loss is a difficult concept to deal with, especially when it is permanent, and it is something each of us will be forced to face at one point or another throughout our lives. It might come in small forms, such as losing an important textbook necessary for a class.It might come as a bigger issue, such as failing a class and losing your scholarship for school. It could even be the largest form of loss imaginable: the loss of a person. Be it death or otherwise, you may at some point, or might have already lost your best friend, your sister or brother, your parents or children.

Loss leaves the survivor feeling hollow inside. You may go days without eating or nights without sleeping, and you may spend too much time thinking and over-thinking. Loss, especially in the form of death, is one of the most difficult experiences survivors have to live through. Sometimes it feels like you won't go a day without being reminded of the incident, and sometimes you'll feel like it is all you'll ever think about again. Personally, I've been there - I lost grandma last year whose value I realised only after she died.
 

As difficult as it is to see past something like this at the moment, you will get through it. What is important to remember is you don't have to forget the person you've lost just because they are gone. Sometimes when memories are the only thing left, it is important to grab onto them and not let go.Another important thing to remember is to talk about how you are feeling to other people. Stockpiling and bottling emotions will do nothing constructive - rather, it is destructive. You will decay away inside, and that kind of erosion is not easily repaired. Talking to friends, family, counselors, teachers, doctors or whomever only helps.

Blocking memories rarely ever works, if at all. In fact, recollecting memories with important people might actually help.If you feel like something horrible such as death is all you ever think about, you aren't alone.Many people have lost loved ones and can relate to your situation. It is also healthy to be sad or angry or to wonder why something happened as long as you react to such emotion in a healthy manner.

Don't let loss overtake your life. Losing someone, in death or otherwise, might break your heart, but broken hearts still beat, and you will make it through the tragedy.

Life: A Roller Coaster....

Yesterday, you must have seen my post on betrayal by a long time friend... Things change and people move on. Sometimes when you think about it, it just makes you feel more miserable as if we don't have anything to worry about. Lets just take it up that they are not lucky enough to be our friends anymore. Like I said, things change so do people.

I have also learnt that betrayal can be forgiven and forgotten only that person accept the mistake. If not, well its their choice. Life has many twists and turns like a roller coaster. When you learn to enjoy it, its fun or if you want to make it a miserable ride, you end up puking :( . Today was just those days when you forget all your worries and have fun. If one door is closed, it means you will have a better door the next time. So does in my life. I always thought that friends are the best medicine. But when you have been betrayed by them, its just doesn't feel right. Okay may be some of the friends are bad. Not all of them. Here are a few friends who are making my life as gay as possible.

Today's Activity with some of the coolest friends ever has made me get back what I lost with other so-called friends. What did they do to make me feel sooooooo happy?

Took me on this surprise ride with my eyes closed where I was beaten as well as given ample happiness.
This surprise ride was organized by Praveen Chandar who found out that I wasn't happy for a few days now by just looking at me and watching my activities.

Co-organizer's: Prasanna Venkatesh, Nishanth, Raj murugan and of course, Akila (my only gf in college).
They kidnapped me to from class (half way through it) and took me to Mayajaal  to watch the movie Fast and Furious 4 and then we had lunch @ one of the most attractive places in Chennai which I've never been to all this time. It was so good right next to the beach and then we went boating in Mutukadu. We also went to the nearby beach and @ 6pm, they came to my house to have a mini-tiffin made by my mom. The best part of the day came when my mom loved them all and she also asked to come again ASAP to my place to have this kinda fun again. Thank you guys for making both, my mom and me, happy on the same day. My mom said that talking to these friends made her feel young at heart again. Nishanth has recently lost his mom and he just loved my mom and so does my mom. It was a happy day @ the whole.Loved it ! :)

Missing Feeling!!!

I hope all the girls remember going on the bike behind your dad who was then very much younger. I used to hug my dad so tight because I was too scared whether I would fall off. Years before that, you would remember sitting front on the petrol tank.. I was so proud of my dad. He was my Hero. Still is. He used to ride this Royal Enfield Bullet which is very huge and is very difficult to ride. Once I remember a friend of mine who was very scared of my dad because of the way he looks at him and also by the way he rides the bike. Its just amazing how much I miss hugging my dad from behind. But now that I have grown up and my dad has had severe pain on the backbone due to riding that sort of heavy vehicle, he now rides my scooty pep. Still doesn't allow me to go on the main roads, though.

Coming back to the subject. I seriously miss those innocent days when I used to ask endless number of questions to him not allowing him to concentrate on the ride, but even with all those disturbances my dad was always cautious about his bike and with me on it. Today, I am very carefree and love those long rides with friends with the highest speed possible on that bike, I still dont get that feeling which I had experienced with my dad. He is the best and my hero. I wish I could go back to those glorious days of innocence because I never had to bother about anything when I had my dad to take care of me at all time.

"The Road Not Taken"

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth

Then took the other as just as fair
And having perhaps the better claim
Because it was grassy and wanted wear
Though as for that, the passing there
Had worn them really about the same

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet, knowing how way leads onto way
I doubted if I should ever come back

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence
Two roads diverged in a wood
And I took the one less traveled by
And that has made all the difference

by
Robert Frost

Now, you might ask?? Why have you written this poetry?
This poem is dedicated to my fellow classmates in MBA. I want to tell them that this poem was related to me when I was in the dilemma to choose my specialization. I asked my dad for a suggestion and guess what he told me? This poem... Road Less Traveled by Robert frost..
I have read this poem during my school times. I was made to memorize it by heart. I used to crib about it, but it was time for me to realize that it works.... Everything which was learnt before does have some use at some point of time. Doesn't it???

25 things about me truly to you!!

Found this one interesting. Well to think about it, maybe I can discover myself when I will be writing something about myself.

1. I wish I was born a boy, not because I don't like to be a girl but just that I feel the guys have more freedom to act according to their will.

2. My dad, my best friend. However, I feel I talk more to my mom than my dad because mom is at home all the time.

3. Secretly, I wish my sister doesn't go abroad next year for higher education. I am going to miss her sooooooooooooooo much!!!!!:-(

4. I have more boys as friends rather than girls because I feel that I can trust a guy rather than a girl.

5. I love to have kids. Everytime I see a cute baby on the road or somewhere else, I would imagine myself as his/her mom. :P

6.Blogging has now become my favourite activity in the whole wide world.

7. I am not perfect. Nobody is. We all learn from mistakes. So do I.

8. I have always hated this particular family which is related to my dad but never showed it out.

9. I sometimes cry in the night, without any sound, thinking that I shouldn't have done certain mistakes.

10. I give a lot of importance to people around me but ignore my family( I take them for granted).

11. My favourite food is biryani which is known to everybody who knows me well. I would eat it for breakfast, brunch,lunch,supper and dinner everyday.

12. I love it when my friends call me "DA". It makes me feel that I am important to them.

13. I am not a feminist but I hate it when guys think that girl are worth less. (They get on my nervous).

14. I wish I had my friend Bharani with me now so that I could hug her and tell her everything in the past and ask her to forgive me.

15. I broke two flowerpot in school when I completed my 12th due to the happiness(naughty me).

16. Once I had no money and was left stranded in the road with just a PCO where there was a blind man. I asked him, if I could make a call and left without paying any money when my friend arrived to resuce me. So I have promised  myself that I should go back and pay that Rs.2 someday.

17. Visit Kumbakonam again and see HIM atleast once again.

18. Goal to achieve in the future: To become future chief minister of Tamil Nadu.

19. I hate girls who act all girly and frizzy.

20. I respect eunuchs and always treat them as a human being.

21. I love to ride on the bike at a speed of 120kmph. (just me alone, but  my dad would say," In your dreams raji!")

22. Laziest of laziest. That me!!

23. Hate to work around the house but was the top performer in my former job.

24. Nothing can be done to erase the past, but I'm not least bothered about what others think or feel about me.( Go to hell!!)

25. Friendship rocks and so does MBA!!!!!

Just one more guys..... pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee........

26. Last but never the least, I can never live without MUSIC.

Tagged:

Here go the rules -
Once you've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you.

And I tag Raji.

Dedicating this month of love to my Dad!!!

Ever since I remember Ever since I can remember You have been the one who picked me up when I would fall lift me up when I was down You are the one who wiped away the tears And made a smile magically appear. You are the one who loved me no matter what I did And you are the one who helped me to be what I am today How can I ever tell you how very much I love you? Did I ever say thanks  Did I ever say thanks for all the toys you mended, games we played, outings to the park, and the way you always tried to cheer me when I was down?  Did I ever say thanks for the sacrifices you made so I could be involved in so many enriching activities?  Did I ever say thanks for working so hard to provide for our family?  Did I ever say thanks for having such faith in me and always being there when I needed you?  Most of all, Did I ever say thanks for caring?  DAD, I LOVE YOU.